Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dear Oregon

You seem to be severely confused about what constitutes normal weather patterns. For the past two years you have been deeply confused on this matter.

Spring should begin in March/April and persist till early mid June with OCCASIONAL rain showers but mostly pleasant sunny temperatures in the mid to high 70's. Mid June you should start transitioning to the 80's reaching high 80's and even early 90's throughout July. Because this is when we want/need/expect to be hot. This is when we want to camp, swim and BBQ. Come August you should taper out to the mid 80's cooling slightly to the low 80's by the end of the month. As we move into September you should cool further into the 70's to begin your transition into fall weather. This is an example of a normal, reasonable and healthy weather pattern. Rather you left us, after a long and cold winter, with NO spring. Instead you persisted to rain through the month of July. Finally you gave us some decent weather in August with temperatures in the 80's and even the low 90's at the end of the month. But now that labor day has passed and we are ready to transition into fall, pull out our scarves and sweaters, cook soup, pot mum's and nest to our hearts desire you pull a week of 95 degree weather. Really Oregon this is just not cool---not cool at all.


  1. Dear Oregon,

    I agree with Mrs. Potter that your weather patterns have been anything but acceptable.

    That said, when it comes to heat, I'll take what I can get, so bring it on. But please, take notes for next year.

    Another dissatisfied resident,

    Ms. Outlandish

  2. Did you see Bob Welch's column in the Register Guard about Oregon's six seasons? Very funny: