Mom Fail Weekend

This weekend was a really hard one for me as a Mom. It was supposed to be a very nice weekend. We had little plans except a date night Friday night and St. Patty's dinner at my Father and Step-Mother's on Saturday night. But then I had failed to factor in Margot's vaccinations into the mix. Friday at noon Margot had her 4 month well baby check up and I completely forgot it would include vaccinations. So there I was Friday on my lunch hour holding a screaming baby. And all I wanted to do was stay with her but I had to go back to work. After work we'd barely gotten home with, our by now very fussy, baby when my Dad and Step Mom arrived to babysit so we could go out. As much as Chris and I wanted and needed some time alone it was very hard for us to leave Margot. But we did and we had a nice dinner out. When we came home Margot was sound asleep and it all seemed okay.

But when I picked her up to nurse her before I went to bed she was burning up and shivering. As soon as I picked her up she started to cry the most heart breaking little cry. It was horrible. We took her temperature which was 101.4. Then both Chris and I sort of panicked. How could she have a fever? How could we leave her? why did we let them give her those shots? After a few minutes of freaking out and debating taking her to urgent care I remembered the doctor sent home a sheet about her vaccinations. It said we only needed to bring he in if her temperature reached 104 or lasted longer than 24 hours. It advised lightly dressing the baby, giving lots of nursing and infant Tylenol. We did all of those things then just brought Margot to bed with us and let her cuddle and nurse throughout the night. I have never felt so guilty laying there with Margot burning up and clinging to me. Luckily her fever started to go down and was gone by morning. But she was lethargic, clingy and kind of fussy the rest of the day. We just did everything we could to make her comfy and happy. We cuddled, and nursed, and bounced and let her sleep in our chests. By afternoon she was quite a bit better.

We dressed her up for St Patricks Day and went to my Dad's for corned beef. Sunday she woke up screaming but settled down after some bouncing and cuddling. We walked to church so she didn't have to go in the car seat and then I just kept her in the service with us. She did look darling in her little pink jumper and tights with shoes on them.

I was supposed to go to the opera Sunday afternoon but I canceled because I didn't dare leave her again.

I logically know Margot is fine but I still feel so awful about the whole thing. I feel bad that I didn't know to block out my calender the rest of the day after her shots. I feel bad that we scheduled a date night for that night. And to make matters even more difficult We've had really mixed feeling about vaccinations anyway. We ultimately decided to give them to her but I can't say either of us felt very settled about that decision. Seeing her react and suffer from them didn't help our feelings any. I suppose I learned a lesson. I have already blocked out my calender for the rest of the day for her 6 month well baby appointment.